teh Grate Bukkit Leson

 

(TC, & Fizzle, 2007)

 

Iís lolrus and dis iz mah bukkit.  Donít evin tink of taking dis bukkit, bicause itz mahn and not yorz.  I no itz mah bukkit bicaz I mizured it.  I no itz hite, itz Volum, itz airiuh and itz wate.  If u don bileev mi, I wil show u how.

 

Furst, I mizured mah bukkitís hite wit a rulir.  My rulir is twelv inches or wun fut long, and I mizured in inches.  An inch is a mizuremint of lenth.  And we r mizuring teh height or lenth of teh top to teh botum of my bukkit. Ther r twelve inches in a fut.  Three feet r in a yard; and 1760 yards r in a mile.  My rulur is devided into sixteenths or an inch.  That meens that eech inch is brokin into sixteen parts, and yaw can mizure to teh neerist sixteenth. If yaw mizure and teh result is between to lines, yaw choowz teh line it is closur to.  So if a mizuremint falls between 1/8 and 1/4 of an inch and is closur to teh 1/4 line, that mizuremint wud be 1/4 inch.  If yaw were to mizure sumthing and it fell between 1/2 and 5/8 of an inch and it was closur to teh 1/2 line, yaw wud mizure it as 1/2 inch.  Even if it looked like teh mizuremint was ekzacli, centir between teh lines on teh rulur, we wud still hav to use an aprocsimazion or esitmat for it.  That is becaws teh rulur duz not mizure to thirti-secunds and we cannot be shur of teh acuraci of that mizuremint.  We hav to wirk witin teh limitations of awr mizuring instrumint, wich is sixteenthz.  If teh mizuremint falls on teh dead centir between lines, rawnd up to closist mizuremint.

 

We prefur aprocsimazions, becaws they use careful mizuremint and mathematic principls to rownd teh mizuremint to teh neerist valu.  With aproximashuns we do all teh calkulatsuns as acuritli as posibul to git teh best, closist ansir we can git with teh mizuring instrumints at awr disposal.  Esitmats r quick assessmints that we do in awr heds to git an ansir that will wirk.  It is not necessarily acurit or correct, but an esitmat can give us an idea abowt teh mizuremint of sumthing.  For ekzampul, like looking at a bukkit of fish, doing a quick vizuul cawnt, and saying, ďTher r abowt fiteen fish in ther.Ē  To esitmat, we wud be sertan to cawnt everi fish and everi part of teh fish in teh bukkit.  We wud then say sumthing like ďTher r aproximatuli fawrteen and a half fish in my bukkit.Ē Lolruses like to aproximat when they can.  We r not veri gud at doing things in awr heds, so we take awr time on papir or with a calkulaur.  We also like to be sertan ekzacli how mani fish we hav in awr bukkits.

 

(Bertau, date unknown)

 

I like to convert my mizuremints to desimul points.  I find it makes it eziur to do teh calkulatsuns.  Like most othur lolruses, I like to do things teh easiest way I can.  U can see n teh pictur below tat tef hite iz abowt 2 7/16 inches or 2.4375 inchz.

 

But tat dosnít tel mi how mani fish mah bukkit can hold.  I need to calculat teh volum to c how much it holds.  I no that a bukkit iz a frustum.  A frustum iz a cown wit itz tip cut off.  Teh formula for ditermoning teh volum of a frustum iz:

 

Volum = ((pi * h) / 3) * (R2 + Rr +r2)

Ware:

  h = Hite

  R = Botum (Big) Radeuz

  r = Top (Smal) Radeuz

 

 

 

 

 

Radeuz iz haf of teh diamiter, wich iz teh mizurmint acros a circul, threw teh centir point of teh circul and ending on points on either side of teh centir point.  I mizured teh diamiter of mah bukkit.  I mizured it on both endz of teh bukkit.

 

 

On teh larg end of mah bukkit, teh diamiter wuz abowt 2 1/4 inches or 2.25 inches.  That gives mi a radeuz of 1 1/8 inches or 1.125 inches.

 

 

On teh smal end of mah bukkit, I mizur a 1 1/2 diamiter or 1.5 inches.  teh diamiter devided by to wud bi 3/4 of an inch or .75 inches.

 

Teh formula for volum iz (( * h) / 3) * (R2 + Rr +r2).  O yeah, also nown as Pi iz aproximatuli 3.14159265.  Pepl hav not bien abul to calculat Pi to itz last digit bicause itís an irational number.  It cannot bi writen as a fraction (teh ratio of to integers).  Teh only Pi most lolruses wori abowt iz fish pie in their bukkitz, but they r always losing ther bukkitz.   Sincz mah bukkit iz so important to mi, I lernt abot Pi.  So, if I plug al mah mizurmints into teh formula Volum = (( * h) / 3) * (R2 + Rr +r2).  It lookz like thiz. 

 

Volum = (( 3.14159265 * 2.4375)/3) * (1.125≤ + 1.125 * .75 + .75≤)

Volum = (2.552544028125) * (1.265625 + 0.84375 + 0.5625)

Volum = 2.552544028125 * 2.671875

Volum = 6.820078575146484 cubic inches

 

Teh Volum of mah bukkit iz abowt 6.8201 cubic inches. 

 

To calculat teh aireuh of mah bukkit, I needed to use teh sami mizurmints I already mizur to calculat teh volum; and put them into teh formula to calculat teh aireuh of a frustum.  It iz:

 

Aireuh= ∏ (R + r) √(R Ė r)≤ + h≤

 

Aireuh= 3.14159265 (1.125 + .75) √(1.125 - .75)≤ + 2.4375≤

Aireuh= 3.14159265 (1.875) √(0.375)≤ + 5.94140625

Aireuh= 5.89048621875 0.140625 + 5.94140625

Aireuh= 5.89048621875 6.08203125

Aireuh= 5.89048621875 * 2.4661774571186072699929663487117

Aireuh= 14.526984324149075208087128686519 square inches

 

But mah bukkit duznít hav any aireuh on teh opening.  So we need to subtract that part from teh total aireuh.  To do that, we need to use teh formula to calculat teh aireuh of a circul.  That iz:

 

A=∏r≤

 

So teh aireuh (A) of teh top of mah bukkit wud bi:

 

Aireuh= 3.14159265 (1.125≤)

Aireuh= 3.14159265 (1.265625)

Aireuh= 3.97607819765625 square inches

 

So if we subtract 3.97607819765625 from 14.526984324149075208087128686519, we git 10.550906126492825208087128686519 square inches.

 

So teh aireuh of mah bukkit iz aproximatuli 10.5509 square inches.

 

Teh wate of mah bukkit wuz  ez to mizur. 

 

Furst, I made shur mah scale wuz  on and zeroed awt.

 

 

 

Next, I put mah bukkit on teh scale and carefuly read teh result.

 

 

Teh scale iz set to mizur in grams.  mah bukkit weighs 21.8 grams.

 

(Unknown, 2007)

 

U mai say that a bukkit that iz 2.4375 inches hi, wit a volum of 6.8201 cubic inches, an aireuh of 10.5509 square inches and a wate of 21.8 grams iz kind of smal for such a larg lolrus as mi.  However, I can tel u wit sertanty that it iz not.  Even thow I am larg and weigh abowt 1,700 kilograms, mah bukkit iz just fine.  It iz veree portabal and fitz nicely in mah pokkit wen I ware pants. I just need to fil it up frekuentlee. 

 

 

References:

 

TC, & Fizzle, J. (Photographer). (2007). Walrus. [Web]. Retrieved from

http://stillfootball.wordpress.com/2007/06/30/the-straw-that-stirs-

the-drink-and-other-cliches/

 

Bertau, P. (Photographer). (date unknown). Buckets of trout, mangrove

snapper, ribbon fish and a blue eyed sea robin!. [Web]. Retrieved

from http://www.bertaut.com/snapper.html

 

Unknown. (Photographer). (2007). I am the lolrus. [Web]. Retrieved from

http://cheezburger.com/View/2666929920

 

 

Translation of lolrus to American English dun by Margret Treiber - Here.

 

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